Sabine is a failed whiskey drinker, expat, enthusiastic home cook, wife and mama to two little ones. Our little family of four live in a 100-square-metre apartment in the heart of Berlin. This is us.

Fan mail, inquiries and curios are best sent to sabinedevins(at)gmail

Shift

In February, C., Luisa’s childcare provider said “I think Luisa needs more.” 

She had been in this program for almost a year. It was two days a week, five hours a day. It was a great way to get her some serious play time with other kids and to give me some time to get things done. She was there the morning I went into labour with Mateo. She continued going after she become a big sister, but that September, the other kids her age went into “Kitas” (German preschools/daycares/kindergarten). She became the oldest by nine months. And she still loved it, but by February, when C. said “I think Luisa needs more”, I felt it too.

Luisa needed more. 

And we were in luck. Just down the road a new Kita was opening, which meant we had a good chance of getting in. Kitas are organised. They like to take kids in a wide range of ages and there was a good shot of getting a spot for our born-in-2010 daughter. Kids generally start Kitas the September after their first birthday. Mothers usually take (paid) parental leave for the first year, but can stay on leave for up to two more (unpaid) years with job protection. Luisa didn’t go into Kita last September. Mateo was born and we thought it was too much change. Five-days-a-week kindergarten plus a baby brother. We kept her where she was. But it meant that a spot for a 2010 girl would be harder to come by, until we heard about a new Kita opening up. 

In March, we got the note that Luisa was being offered a spot. We took it. But we hadn’t met any of the people involved or even seen the finished space. It was all being renovated still. The team still being put together, but I still felt it was right. I liked the plans for the Kita. It’s focus is on learning through nature and science. 

She started April 2. 

The first day, I stayed with her there. She hardly noticed my presence. The second day, I stayed an hour, then left for 20 minutes. When I came back, I said: “Time to go home!”. She said “Nein!”, so I left for another hour and then picked her up. The third day, I brought her in the morning, said good bye and sat in a nearby cafe for three hours and then picked her up. The fourth day, Josh dropped her off and I picked her up at noon. 

And that was our routine until yesterday, when Josh dropped her off and I picked her up at 3, after the children had all napped there. I waited in a nearby park from 12 onwards, in case a phone call came saying “Luisa wants to come home”. 

But that phone call didn’t come. And I don’t know how I feel about it. Mostly good. I’m proud that she’s so secure and confident that she can go out in the world, have a full day of playing and learning. She’s picked up so many words since starting Kita. She finally asks for “Wasser” (water) instead of just pointing to a cup and going “ts-ahhhh”. She talks about the friends she has there. She tells me that Leni has glasses. And that Moritz broke a spoon. I’m proud that she’s happy to see me at the end of the day, but I’m also a little sad that she doesn’t need me more. That she is ok spending six-ish hours without me. That I’m not missed. 

And there’s the shift. 

But at least I’m greeted with a grin when I pick her up. 

It’s a new routine, a new dynamic. Mateo is going to benefit just as much as Luisa has from this new day-to-day. And we all have to adjust, but I might have the most difficult adjustment to make. 

Afternoon playdates

whenyouhavekids:

image

So, I’ve gotten into the gif blog business. 

This is parenthood

  • At breakfast
  • Sabine: Luisa, look! We have fresh mango for breakfast this morning.
  • Luisa: No! Done.
  • Sabine: Ok.
  • 30 minutes later on our way to daycare
  • Luisa: Mama, mango?
  • Sabine: The mango is sitting in a bowl on the table at home. You didn't want it this morning.
  • Luisa: MAMA! MANGO!

CBC Kids Radio stream

You know what kids love? Kids music. Just like they know their own kind, they also know when a tune is made just for them. And yeah, it makes me groan. So instead of buying a bunch of kids albums, we put this on. And every now and then, they slip in a song that us parents like too. 

And there’s no commercials. 

What I know about taking airplane rides with little ones.

Mine are frequent fliers. Luisa has already crossed the Atlantic six times. Mateo, twice. Between all legs of all flights we’ve ever done, Luisa has been on 24 airplanes. I won’t even try and count train rides.  This is what we’ve learned: 

  • British Airways is the best. No really. I wish they paid me to tell you that, but they don’t (ahem. hint hint if any of you work for them…). The attendants are friendly and they have always been accommodating to us with our little ones. A week before we were due to fly to Vancouver for the holidays, Josh called to reserve seats. He got Mateo and I a bulkhead with a bassinet. He got seats behind us reserved for him and Luisa. At no extra cost. No fuss. No hassle. Plus, our kids each get a full luggage allowance PLUS car seat PLUS stroller. We also would have been able to bring along any special luggage (skis/surfboards/yeah right) if that’s what we were into. 
  • Babies in the bulkheads, but toddlers in the back. Yeah, bulkhead seats are great and mean leg room, but they also don’t have armrests that go up. Sitting behind Mateo and I allowed Josh to put an arm rest up and Luisa to lie down and go to sleep. 
  • Pack the bedtime routine.  Oh man. We made a huge mistake on the flight there. We thought because we were flying “through the day time”, we wouldn’t pack Luisa’s pajamas and she would just have an extended nap. Oh no. She did not sleep. In fact, on our entire 13.5 hour journey from Berlin to London, she slept all of 2.5 hours. Oof. There was a puking incident. And a lot of yelling. On the way back, we wised up. We packed pajamas and a bottle of milk. It was all we needed to send her the signal that it was time for sleep and she slept for 6 hours. 
  • Self-limit your on carry on. We bring two carry on bags. One back pack and one purse. That’s it. If we brought more/bigger bags, we’d just have to haul more/bigger bags around on our transfers, as well as two small children. The backpack held everything we needed for the kids. Electronics (2xkindle, ipad, phones) went into the purse. 
  • Be realistic about what you need. There is a tendency in parenthood to be “better safe than sorry”. You don’t need 20 diapers for a three hour flight. You don’t even need 20 diapers for a 13 hour flight with two kids in diapers. I pack one diaper change every three hours and then add one as my safety net. I do, however, pack an extra outfit for each. On Mateo’s first train ride, he needed his spare outfit all of 10 minutes into the trip. Babies can be gross. 
  • Be organised for going through security. I always pack my baggie of liquids at the top of my purse. It means I don’t have to dig around for it while removing little people coats or trying to take off shoes. 
  • Go hands free as much as possible. I love my Moby Wrap. I can carry Mateo or Luisa in it (though it’s Mateo 99 per cent of the time). It means I can carry a toy Luisa refuses to keep in the backpack or quickly unpack things to go through security. And bonus on the Moby Wrap: It’s just one long piece of stretchy cotton with no buckles or snaps, so I can wear it through the metal detector. 
  • iPads are lifesavers. No, really, they are. Luisa will happily sit in her seat with her seat belt on with an iPad in front of her. And the flight attendants usually let her. Even during take off and landing. 
  • Let your toddler eat airplane food. It’s novel and fun and means you don’t have to pack it. We did pack some dried fruit snacks for Luisa to munch on in between meals. 
  • Give your toddler a task. We brought Luisa’s doll “Hugo” on the trip with us. We would tell her she had to make sure Hugo was safe. When meals came, Hugo had to eat too. When it was time to sleep, Hugo did as well. Transferring through Heathrow, Luisa carried Hugo around just like I carried Mateo around, which (1) kept her busy and (2) brought a lot of smiles to our fellow passengers and I like to think it made some one else’s travel day that much better. 
  • The smaller they are, the easier it is. Mateo was three months old on our way to Vancouver. I didn’t have to pack a single toy, a single book, a single anything to entertain him with for any of our journeys. I had one swaddling blanket and one Sophie toy. For Luisa? We had books, an iPad, stuffed toys to cuddle with, a sippy cup, a pillow, etc. etc. His ears weren’t bother by take off and landing either. I fed him during then, always waiting for the pilot telling the attendants to prepare for landing/take off. 
  • When the going gets tough, remind yourself you will probably never, ever see any of your fellow passengers again. It helps to remember that. Most people have been incredibly kind to us as we travel with our little ones. Some people are dicks about it. It’s not your problem that they have a problem with kids. Just focus on keeping your little ones safe and happy. 

"But in those early months of my son’s life, there was no question that no matter how lovely, amusing and interesting he found his daddy, I was his world. If the entire human race except for the two of us had been wiped out that first year of his life, my son would have been just fine. He ate from my body, slept nestled against me, spent a good number of his waking hours in my arms, followed me steadily with his dark eyes when he reclined in his bouncy seat across the room. I’d read that babies don’t comprehend that their bodies are separate from the bodies of their mothers until they are three or four months old, and I struggled to comprehend the same thing."

—

From Baby Weight by Cheryl Strayed

(via bringingupbaby)

This. 

Do your kids love juice?

Of course they do. It’s juice. 

I always watered down Luisa’s juice to a 4-to-1 ratio. Truthfully, I water down my own juice. But this weekend I thought of something better: Fruit tea. 

I steeped it as the water cooled and added no sugar. It was bright red and fruity and slightly sweet but sugar-free and Luisa guzzled it down just the same and she can do so as often as she likes because there is no sugar. Hurray! 

I look over and see Luisa looking at her little brother. Sometimes she’s trying to stuff his soother back into his face. Sometimes she’s trying to put her own snot-covered soother into his mouth. She counts his hands. She counts his feet. He smiles at her, which only encourages her to count them again. He coos, she makes the same noise back. He lies on his blanket, flailing his hands and feet in that way that only newborns do and Luisa flips onto her back and imitates him.  I think: “This is why you have two.”  But then there are times when Luisa insists on being carried all the way home from the train station while Mateo is in the stroller, when I’m that woman in the grocery store with two crying little ones, when one baby has kept me up the night before and the other one gets me up too early.  Then I think: “That’s why you have one.”  (or at least space them out a little bit…)  Two has kicked my butt a little bit. I’ve never been so tired. I’ve never worked so hard… not even that semester where I had three jobs and a full course load. Not even those days I worked an early shift at the newscast and then hopped on a train for a quick commute to the newspaper to work a late shift. I’ve never felt so spread thin or questioned my adequacy or had so many self doubts about what I’m doing. But then there are those moments, when Mateo smiles at her, when Luisa giggles at his coos. Those are magic moments.  And it’s never a bad time for a dance party. Those help. 

I look over and see Luisa looking at her little brother. Sometimes she’s trying to stuff his soother back into his face. Sometimes she’s trying to put her own snot-covered soother into his mouth. She counts his hands. She counts his feet. He smiles at her, which only encourages her to count them again. He coos, she makes the same noise back. He lies on his blanket, flailing his hands and feet in that way that only newborns do and Luisa flips onto her back and imitates him. 

I think: “This is why you have two.” 

But then there are times when Luisa insists on being carried all the way home from the train station while Mateo is in the stroller, when I’m that woman in the grocery store with two crying little ones, when one baby has kept me up the night before and the other one gets me up too early. 

Then I think: “That’s why you have one.” 

(or at least space them out a little bit…) 

Two has kicked my butt a little bit. I’ve never been so tired. I’ve never worked so hard… not even that semester where I had three jobs and a full course load. Not even those days I worked an early shift at the newscast and then hopped on a train for a quick commute to the newspaper to work a late shift. I’ve never felt so spread thin or questioned my adequacy or had so many self doubts about what I’m doing. But then there are those moments, when Mateo smiles at her, when Luisa giggles at his coos. Those are magic moments. 

And it’s never a bad time for a dance party. Those help. 

(Source: weedevinses)

Cup of Jo: 20 surprising parenting tips

Happy!

Can I give you expecting and new parents a tip? 

Teach your tot the word happy as soon as possible. Luisa has been saying the word happy for a little more than a week now and it’s made us so happy. There are few things that are more uplifting than hearing your toddler say “HAPPY!”

And the ultimate? When she catches one of Mateo’s little smiles and she says “HAPPY!” 

It makes you, well, happy.