More home improvements: Luisa’s dog prints have frames and today they were hung on the wall. We’ll also have to stick a second name on that chalkboard and we’re pretty sure we know what that name is, but you just have to wait.
Pregnancy 1 vs Pregnancy 2.
That’s the bump. It’s big. So big. But no one ever guesses that I’m as close as I am to my due date. So I’m doing ok. The Berlin summer has been good to me. I learned from my pregnancy with Luisa that due dates are useless approximations that just give us (and the people around us) a false sense of an end date. So I’ve been careful with my due date. I tell people “beginning of September”. I like the vagueness. It’s appropriate.
I feel bad because I’ve been much less enthusiastic about this pregnancy. However, I’m much more enthusiastic to meet the little man that’s currently making my abdomen twitch with his hiccups. The first time around, pregnancy is such a new and surreal thing. It’s the wonderment in itself. And then you have this little person and you learn that its so so so much better than pregnancy. That they are so much more amazing than anything. There is no way you can understand how amazing these little people are until after. And so this time has felt much more like a waiting room than my pregnancy with Luisa. I’m so excited to meet him and see what he shares with his sister and what his sister thinks of it all and what get to know his personality. I’m pretty sure both of them will have their dad’s long toes, but that’s all I can say. Luisa is such a fun mix of us both, but Josh and I have such different features that our son could look completely unrelated to his sister.
And there’s the word son. I think a lot about what having a little boy will be like. I’m so excited. When we first found out we were adding to us, it was true that we didn’t care the gender. We knew that for us, it would be nice to get “one of each”, but I know that when I was girl growing up with two brothers, all I wished for in the world was a sister. I wished for a boy for us, but hoped for a girl for Luisa. I think she’ll like having a brother just fine. After all, my life with two of them isn’t so bad.
But names. Oh brother, are boy names tough. Finding ones we like isn’t the problem — it’s coming to agreements. But there is one that has recently settled into our heads as a front runner. It feels good. And also calms me thinking there is one that we like. At least we have that one.
There is still some time to go. I’m doing my best to squeeze the moments I have with only Luisa, but it’s hard when I’m so looking forward to meeting the little mister.
Josh and I have always said we want two kids. That hasn’t changed. We’re getting our family of four and I’m so excited to have all the people I plan on spending the rest of my life with all present and accounted for.
I win.
- Context: Josh got a new work laptop.
- Josh: This is so much faster than my old computer. It's pretty cool.
- Sabine: Yeah? Well I'm growing a human.
I had a coupon and a credit and I snagged this. It’ll be perfect for fall and draping over a nursing newborn come September.
Photo on left: World Cup 2010 baby bump.
Photo on the right: Euro Cup 2012 baby bump.
I’m not going to be pregnant for World Cup 2014 just so I can drink a beer while watching the game. It’s going to be great. But then at least I’ll have two little fans who can get me that beer.
Things to look forward to…
So, this is when I see the first bit of the kid that Luisa is turning into. She loves to put on her bike helmet and tell us she wants to “GO!”. If Josh isn’t home, then she usually tells me she wants to go to Dada. But if he’s just left or we’re both home, then she isn’t really sure what her answer should be. She just knows she’s ready to go. And it’s cute. Real cute.
(Source: weedevinses)
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In fact, people are still expected to provide reasons not to have children, but no reasons are required to have them. It’s assumed that if individuals do not have children it is because they are infertile, too selfish or have just not yet gotten around to it. In any case, they owe their interlocutor an explanation. On the other hand, no one says to the proud parents of a newborn, Why did you choose to have that child? What are your reasons? The choice to procreate is not regarded as needing any thought or justification.
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If we fail to acknowledge that the decision of whether to parent or not is a real choice that has ethical import, then we are treating childbearing as a mere expression of biological destiny. Instead of seeing having children as something that women do, we will continue to see it as something that simply happens to women, or as something that is merely “natural” and animal-like.
The decision to have children surely deserves at least as much thought as people devote to leasing a car or buying a house. Procreation decisions are about whether or not to assume complete responsibility, over a period of at least 18 years, for a new life or new lives. Because deciding whether to procreate has ethical dimensions, the reasons people give for their procreative choices deserve examination. Some reasons may be better — or worse — than others.
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Think Before You Breed | New York Times
Great article. Thanks for sending, Mere!
(via graceinsmallthings)
Since becoming a parent, I know now more than ever that this isn’t for everyone. I understand better than ever why people would choose to not have children. That isn’t to say that I have regrets. I love being a mama. Love love love it. And there is nothing wrong with you if you love love love being a non-mama.
But what I take issue with here is the assumption that people who have children, just because they are not grilled about why they have children, don’t devote “at least as much” thought to having children as they do to buying a house or leasing a car. The decision is monumental. One that I still haven’t stopped making. It is ongoing as having a child is never the single decision simply to bring that new life or lives into the world. It is a lifetime process of decision-making and hoping that you’ve made the right ones because it is no longer just you dealing with those results.
So, yes, Josh and I have our reasons for having children and just because we aren’t asked about them, doesn’t mean we aren’t questioned on a daily basis about every other decision we make involving those children who constantly delight and surprise us in ways we never could have imagined when we made that “one” decision to have them.
Today’s adventure in parenting
Luisa and I had a little dance party. Dancing, to Luisa, means spinning in circles until she falls down with the occasional arm flailing. Today was no different. She spun and spun and spun until she fell down. And then she tried to get up, which resulted in her falling down again and this time on her face, biting her lip.
After a brief cry in my lap, she stood up and kept dancing. And then realised her face still hurt, so she’d cry again and run over to me for comfort. And then she’d dance again. And then cry. Then dance. And then cry. Then dance.
But then the song ended and it was all tears for the next two minutes. And then she moved on.
