“Should we hold hands?
We can’t
But why?
Because, people will know.
Know what?
About us.
So what if they know?
It’s better when it’s a secret.
Why?
So no one can take it from us.”
The History of Love
Smile - Wide Mouth Mason
This was one of my favourite songs once. Today I listened to it for the first time in a long time and still remembered most of the lyrics. Weird how you can bring that stuff out of no where.
I never wear my hair back and have always had some form of bangs because of my scar. You can see it disappear into my hairline and it goes to just about above my ear. I’m very lucky that’s all I have.
When I was four, I was mauled by a dog. My dog. He was a St. Bernard and one day just pinned me to the deck and bit me around the my left eye in front of my mom and our neighbour. He drove me to the hospital in the small town I grew up in, where I was put into an ambulance and driven off to the big city.
I had 75 stitches and three surgeries and wore an eye patch. Thanks to the surgeon, this scar, a couple other minor scars and a frightening photo of my swollen, black and blue, four-year-old face is all I have left of that.
So, it’s been about a month since I posted that I went to the gym for the first time ever and I’m pretty proud to say that I’ve kept it up — with the exception of the five days that my mom was here, but I did go the day before she came and the day after and we did a lot of walking around.
So, after a month, maybe this is just psychological but I feel better about me. I feel like I can see more muscle and more tone and less chubs. And! I lost two pounds.
Today, I’m going to the pool as I figure I should have some cardio. I hate cardio — I hate sweating. Swimming, I can tolerate, because you’re in the water and no one knows that you’re sweating! Genius!
For the last two days, at random times from random places, I hear “WE’LL DO IT LIVE. THIS FUCKING THING SUCKS.”
And even without his squinched up little face, I laugh.
